It can be difficult to have some conversations with our parents. Although we care about them a lot, they can be fussy about certain things, and want to do things their own way – regardless of whether it is the best way of doing things, purely because they have done things their way for many years. Especially when it comes to their welfare, they may not be willing to accept they are getting old, for example, or be unhappy with change. But we’ve thought of the most important topics to cover with them while you can:
Talking about money
Money can be such a fraught topic, and sometimes we don’t want to discuss it because it feels too awkward. But it is really important to discuss this topic with your parents, as they will not be earning forever.
What kind of considerations are covered in chats around money?
Talk about things like what they plan to do with their money as they get older – do they want to give some to you now, to reduce inheritance taxes, or what considerations will they think about when they make a will? Do they want to invest in metals or some sort of reliable assets? Perhaps looking at pensions would be a wise move, especially if their workplace offers some sort of fund that invests the money for them and ensures they are putting in a set amount each month.
Talking about what will happen when their capacities diminish
No-one likes to talk about the fact that as there is an aging population, more and more people will lose their capabilities. Some would argue humans just weren’t designed to live as long as we do now – and so we must consider how best to deal with this.
What kinds of things matter when parents grow frail
It is important to think about what should happen when. For example, if they are diagnosed with dementia, should they move into your home? Is it worth taking a look at the senior living Houston has to offer? Should they look at retirement homes that cater to loss of both physical and mental capabilities – so that they can decide now what kind of community they’d like to be in?
Often, it is assumed as a default that grandparents will look after their grandchildren. This can work very well at some times, but at others, it is hard for those with young children to truly know whether the grandparents want to look after their kids – after all, they can be quite a handful – children running around is taxing for anyone, let alone those who are older.
How to discuss childcare with parents
Above all, the most important thing in talking about childcare is making it clear that your children like spending time with your parents, but that they should not feel obliged to take over childcare duties. This is key because many grandparents can feel awkward refusing to take care of their grandkids, so it is important to give them the option – and make sure you think about how COVID-19 could affect things.
iI is difficult to start a conversation about your parents getting old – but a stitch in time saves nine. So it is probably worth starting that chat sooner rather than later.